10 men and women tell us who should pay on the first date

Imagine you’re on a date with a guy, and when the bill arrives, he suggests splitting it. What would you do?

We asked a few Nigerians for their thoughts on who should pay for the first date, and the responses were quite interesting. Many Nigerian men believe it’s their responsibility to take care of their date and meet her needs. They find the idea of splitting the bill absurd, as they see it as their duty to care for the woman they asked out.

While there’s the Western culture of complete equality, where splitting the bill 50/50 is the norm, some Nigerian men struggle to embrace this idea due to their strong beliefs in their responsibility and role as providers.

Apparently, chivalry isn’t dead.

Five women also weighed in as we gathered the unfiltered thoughts of this diverse group of people to understand their views on paying for the first date and whether splitting the bill evenly is a fair way to go about it. Here’s what they have to say:

Chuks

Okay, concerning splitting the bill on the first date, I think it depends on who initiated the date. Typically, most of the time, it’s the guy who asks for the first date. So, if you’re the one asking him out, you should be prepared to cover the expenses.

It’s almost like you’re the host, but this time, it’s not in your house, so you’re paying for everything. However, it’s not a bad idea if the person you’re going out with decides to split the bill. It’s all about the person who initiates the date making the preparations, just like if you invite someone to your house, you’d be responsible for providing everything needed.

When you’re choosing the venue, you have to consider the budget. You shouldn’t go to a place where the expenses are beyond what you can comfortably afford. And the same goes for the person you’re going out with, they should also have their money. Even if they seem well-off, you should still have something on you, just in case.

When it comes to being in a relationship, I believe that there’s room for shared responsibilities. You’ll figure out what works best for you both. In a relationship, you can split expenses or take turns paying for things based on what you’re comfortable with.

The key here is communication. Talk about your budget and financial expectations, so there are no misunderstandings. If you can’t afford something, just be honest about it. It’s better to discuss it openly than to feel embarrassed later.

Nina

Well, the one who came up with the date idea should foot the bills because for you to want to go on a date, it means you have the capacity and all it takes to make it a reality and this is because you don’t know the pocket or financial status of the person you want to go on a date with since it’s your wish, so man up and pay the bills. Nothing like 50/50.

T.Y

I do think guys will always pay most times, no matter what anyone thinks. The guys ask for these dates most times, and even when we don’t, we still feel obliged to take care of things and make the lady as comfortable as she can be. There are occasions when bills are split, but in the end, guys will have to handle it most times and I do not have a problem with that at all.

Kayode

This topic is quite relative considering social and cultural differences. But using Nigeria as a case study, we have a sense of pride as Nigerian men in taking care of our women. We are born providers and it’s one of the things that makes us feel fulfilled. Also, the purpose of the date is another factor that would warrant the payment style. In the West and other developed countries, most corporate dates are done with both parties going Dutch. This is understandable since the purpose of the date is to talk business. But in a casual setting, I strongly believe that men should foot the bills.

Daniel

Well, from my perspective, I believe that the question of who should pay on the first date really depends on the context. Some might say the guy should foot the bills, but I think it’s more about the circumstances surrounding the date.

It’s all about showing a sense of responsibility, regardless of gender. If I’m on a date and the setting is more casual, or if my date happens to be wealthier than me, I wouldn’t expect them to pay for everything. In such a scenario, it would be fair for me to offer to cover my share or even take turns in paying for things.

Imagine a situation where the babe is in the VIP section, drinking Henny, and she spots a guy in the regular area sipping on Desperado and calls him over. Obviously, she wouldn’t expect the guy to foot the bills.

So, context matters a lot.

Preye

The guy should foot the bill because he is the one asking the girl out on a date. I also believe in the idea of going 50/50, but it depends on the level of understanding between them. If the lady understands the financial situation of the guy she is in a relationship with and knows he is not well-to-do, then they can agree to split the bills. If they also plan to manage their resources together or have discussed their financial situation, then splitting the bills is not a problem. That’s why I mentioned that understanding and clear communication between both parties matters.

Chidinma

I believe the guy should pay on the first date because he’s the one getting to know me, and he asked me out, so he should be the one to pay for inviting me.

I also believe in going 50/50, but that can be considered later in the relationship. On subsequent dates with the same guy, we can choose to split bills or I can choose to pay but the guy bringing the suggestion of splitting bills on a first date is a total turn off for me.

Bola

First off, I believe if a guy invites a girl for a date, he should pay for it. If the girl does the inviting, she can decide to foot the bill. And yes, I support the idea of going 50/50, but it depends on where we are hanging out. If it’s a place I can afford, I will accept splitting the bill.

But you can’t invite me to the highest and most expensive restaurant and then expect me to split the bill. That’s a big no for me. If we go somewhere within my budget, I’ll be okay with splitting the bill.

Annison

I believe the guy should foot the bills on the first date. It’s a duty of a man to do so, regardless of who asked whom out. For me, it’s a gentlemanly behaviour and it shows that he isn’t cheap. I see it as a feature of masculinity, where men are providers, and women are receivers. I don’t mean to say that a woman should not pay or split the bill if she wants to, personally, I think it tells a lot about a man’s character if he takes the initiative to pay. It leaves a lasting impression. By the way, I personally don’t believe in the 50/50 concept for dating expenses.

Beauty

It’s a first date, so the guy should be the one to foot the bill. You don’t let a woman do that for you. I mean, how can you be going out on a date for the first time with a girl and you will let her pay the bill? For me, it makes you less of a man.

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