One thing that comes to the minds of many when the term marriage is mentioned is the endless amount of sex the couple will be engaged in.

But what many may not factor into the marriage discussion is the situation of pregnancy and childbirth, especially for new mothers.

The entire situation of getting pregnant, carrying the baby for 9 months and the afterbirth puts a toll on the couple and their sexual life.

But it is necessary for a couple to rekindle their sexual relations after childbirth.

GhanaWeb’s Patricia Rockson Hammond sat down with Family and sex therapist Princessa Aggrey on the latest episode of Moans and Cuddles to discuss some tips on how to put some life back into your sex life as a couple after pregnancy and childbirth.

1. Communicate:

“Let’s go to the days of Adam and Eve, the bible said they were ‘naked and unashamed’, and that is how you and your spouse should talk about anything. You should be comfortable with each other, and talk about anything. No matter how hard, difficult or hurtful it is, both of you can sit down and talk about it,” says Princessa Aggrey.

Sitting down as a couple to communicate and discuss various parenting dynamics, such as sleeping arrangements and division of childcare responsibilities before the baby arrives is necessary as a couple.

These conversations can go a long way towards preventing confusion and stress when the child is born.

2. Words of Affirmation

Couples, especially mothers, are left feeling exhausted and downtrodden, especially after the birth of a child.

This usually leaves the sex life of the couple on the sidelines while the mother battles with the emotional turmoil of childbirth.

Words of affirmation and appreciation can be exchanged between partners. This can foster a supportive and loving environment for both parents and the child.

“Words of affirmation for each other are necessary. The wife can tell the husband, ‘I know this is a hard time for both of us. We’re in this together. Thank you for helping me change the diaper,’ or ‘Thank you for staying up with the baby’,” are simple phrases that can reinforce the bond between partners, according to Aggrey.

She added that “When you start appreciating the other person, the other person also starts appreciating. You also say, thank you.”

3. Men, help your wife with chores

The mother is still healing from the stressful pregnancy, help with common house chores, activities like cooking, cleaning up or watching the other children can go a long way towards helping the lady physically and emotionally heal from the pregnancy.

4. Use a breast pump:

For breastfeeding mothers who worry about physical discomfort during sex, practical solutions like breast pads can help.

“If you’re worried about breast milk, get a breast pump. You’ve breastfed the baby, and the baby has slept. So you get the breast pump and empty the remaining ones to the bottles.”

5. Be gentle

Prioritise gentle, non-strenuous positions, such as lying on the side during sex with the man coming in from behind.

Communicate openly about comfort levels and move slowly to ensure mutual satisfaction.

“Gentle, trusting, and mutual satisfaction are key.”

6 Wait for proper healing before resuming sex

“For C-section moms, healing times can vary and it may take longer than six weeks.

“For moms who had an episiotomy, you have to heal properly before you have sex. If the episiotomy got infected, you have to wait like three months, four months before it heals properly.”

7. Not all sex has to be penetrative

Focus on achieving orgasms through non-penetrative methods. The couple may consider alternative forms of intimacy, such as hand jobs or blowjobs, to help the man achieve orgasms.

“If the man is so hard-pressed, you could give him a hand job. If you’re okay with blowjobs, fine. You could give him a blowjob. And then he can also touch you. He could literally stimulate you. And then you get to orgasms without penetration.”

Watch the full show here;