Standing afar and sighting other people’s marriage may seem deceiving. Some have a very difficult challenges that they are facing, which never exist until they got into it.
Stacy M. Amewoyi, today, is putting across a word of advice to the young generation out there looking forward to getting married and the already married ones to always look to up to God in all things.
“Everybody’s normal isn’t your normal; as a single person, you may be looking at this couple’s lifestyle and you would think it’s the normal thing to do but everybody has different realities when it comes to marriage.” Stacy revealed.
Women before marriage, may have the perception that, when the man is rich, automatically there will be a good marriage. Where men may also believe that, beauty on the outside is everything but this according to Stacy is not part of the attributes that make up a good marriage.
“Well, others have beautiful marriages based on the above, but it doesn’t work for everybody. Especially for those who travel abroad with their spouses. To be married and move abroad with no relative of yours in view, could be a total nightmare a person would have the rest of his/her life to wake up from.” She disclosed.
Inciting some realities in some marriages, the philanthropist indicated that, most homes face dominant situations where the other spouse treats the other like a servant, make all the decisions, thereby acting like the boss who defines all roles. Others also face the isolation process, which comes along with the control of who to talk to, deliberate misunderstanding, limiting outside involvement and jealousy.
In some cases, she continued, there is the use of economic abuse which prevents one from working and as a result, they lean always on the other for money.
When the table turn for the other to work, the latter takes all the money making no room for the other to access the family income. Children are also not left out as they are used as a means to relay messages leaving the other spouse in guilt or at times threatened to have children taken away from them.
“Emotional abuse is the worst of its kind. In using this kind of abuse, the victims are made to feel bad about themselves after the mind games have been played on them resulting in name calling and humiliation.
When the abuser is drawn to this behavior, they tend to make light of the abuse, shifting blames and responsibility on the victim without paying attention to their concerns.”
“Every wife is a good material only if the husband is a good tailor. Marriage is not easy; neither is it always fun; those built on physical attraction are not likely to survive a long term.
Are you ready to admit your faults and apologies? Are you ready to act when what is expected of you in the marriage isn’t really coming and will you give in your all to make it work? Don’t rush into a legally binding commitment until you are sure of what you truly want.” Stacy advised.
Source: Ibrahim Abubakari Jimbah
