A few days ago, I came across a tweet which said “Just because you love me doesn’t mean I feel loved by you.”
This really made me realize that a lot of us aren’t being loved the way we want or ought to be loved and vice versa because believe it or not, we all have our love languages.
Often times a person loves their partner or projects the way they, themselves want to be loved instead of truly paying attention to them and what they actually want.
For any relationship be it marriage and even in friendships to last, paying attention to your partner’s love language is important so that one may not feel like they are pouring water on stone with them.
Below are the five love languages briefly explained with examples:
1. Acts of service: All some people need to hear is “I’ve got this!” or “Let me do that for you”. Bring them breakfast in bed, help with the chores, pick up the groceries if your partner’s having a long packed overwhelming day, be handy around the house and get the kids ready for school before they(your partner)wakes up. These are all examples of acts service that may make them feel really loved and appreciated.
2. Words of affirmation: You do not need to see your partner in a new hairstyle or outfit to tell them they look good. They do not need to be going through a rough patch to be called strong, determined or persistent. Daily words of affirmation are very essential in relationships. Tell them you love them every chance you get, tell them how important they are to you even if there’s no special occasion. As random as they hear this on a daily, the stronger the love they have for you.
3. Quality time: Spending quality time means giving your undivided attention to your partner, especially as they talk about stuff they are passionate about. You should even share your opinions and input as well so as to make them feel heard. This could be done in bed just cuddling or engaging in outdoor activities you both like. Do not be out on a date with your partner or friend and be on your phone the whole time.
This can make you miss certain details about them that you may need in the future.
4. Physical touch: This includes hugs, kisses, holding hands especially in public, cuddling and love making love. Your partner had a long day at work? Give them a nice back massage in bed or rub their feet. Are they angry or upset? Hold their hand as they vent and tell them everything is going to be okay.
5. Receiving gifts: A lot of times, gifts are received only on special occasions but randomly surprising a loved one when they least expected it is a top tier way of showing affection. This is very common among women. Buy them something they’ve always wanted or even bring them their favorite flowers. This doesn’t make them gold diggers or materialistic. Its just the way they feel really loved and appreciated.
Source: Kiki Sidique
